Ending a relationship is indescribably painful.
Sometimes you can say “it’s for the best” or “there is always someone else”, but that will never be a solution to heartbreak. You chose to have this person in your life, maybe even when you pushed so many others out of it. You chose to become so accustom to their presence that you made yourself unable to imagine a life without them. Most importantly, you chose to let yourself know what it is like to be in love - to feel feeble, and vulnerable, and unable to control the way your heart and entire being feels for another person. You gave yourself to this person in every way, and just as much as you became their’s, they became yours.
That is why the pain of ending a relationship is devastating. At one point you wonder how to move on, and though one day you will, you are still incredibly hurt. To lose the person you love is a pain no person deserves to endure.
As much as I’ve not wanted to admit it, I really think I’m depressed. The worst part is that it’s affecting my relationship. I’ve met the most amazing guy in the entire world and I really want to be with him. Now, lately I’ve involuntarily been bringing out my neurotic-ness and insecurity, and recently it’s felt so tense. We’ve been having so many arguments over stupid things, usually started by me taking things the wrong way or feeling insecure. He loves me but I know he’s agitated with me, and I feel like I’m going to lose him. I feel like I’m not being the girlfriend I want to be for him and he’s going to find someone else who’s confident & stable.
I don’t know what to do…
Yesterday was my six -month anniversary with my boyfriend. This day meant a lot to me because this is the first time in my life I’ve been this happy with anyone. The time we have been together feels so much longer than it actually is, and I know this is how I’ll always want to feel.
I really love him..
I used to have an extremely low self-esteem. Looking in the mirror was overly unpleasant, and taking pictures was just an embarrassment. I really felt like I had reached the lowest of lows, and I’d never have the confidence to feel even remotely good about myself. I never understood how people needed others to tell them they were pretty to feel pretty. Then I realized that when someone truly means it, that those words can become the most significant words you’ve heard.
The best feeling in the world was being proven wrong. Every girl deserves a guy who is willing to tell her any time of any day that she is beautiful. That her perceived flaws are what attracts her to him most. That every imperfection she thinks makes her unattractive is nowhere to be found in his eyes. It’s the best feeling in the world to know that someone loves everything there is to love about you. I have that now, and every day I feel indebted to him for making me so happy. I love him, for everything.
I used to wish for what other couples had - the sincere happiness they felt with each other. Now, I have that. Every moment of my life gets better with him :)
Being in love is hard. It takes over everything I have in me; when I’m not with him all I can do is think of him, and anticipate the moment I can see him again. It’s like a dependency I can’t rid myself of, not that I want to. My heart beat quickens everytime I think of him. All I ever want to do is express how much I love him as much as I can, and it becomes hard to.focus on anything else. It actually feels bad that this is happening to me (I’m in class and have no clue what’s happening) because he has become the number one important thing. But I love him. So so much I love him. To the ends of the earth I will follow him. No matter how hard this is I will love it. Sigh.
Being in love is so overwhelming. In a good way. My emotions just take mastery of my heart, my chest, my knees, my head, shit my entire living entity, and I yearn for him. When I’m not with him I miss him dreadfully. I anticipate the moment when I can feel his fingers tightly intertwined with mine, or be bundled in his arms, or tell him I love him after several fervent kisses. Then, those moments I am with him, I’m euphoric. There’s no more suffering in my life because he is a part of it. Every day is just time I spend falling deeper in love, and I don’t even understand how I’m even finding the perfect words to describe this feeling.
I love being in love.
I never really knew what it meant to be in love - like, truly, head over heels my heart aches without you kind of love. It makes me feel reliant. I feel feeble in control over my feelings or emotions. I ache at the thought of losing what I love most. Yet, I am happy. There are dozens of synonyms for happy, but the simplicity of the word explains it all too well. My life and my heart is content.
When I say I love him, it has nothing to do with me. Every time I say it I remind him that I love what he is, what he does with me and for me, how he tries his best at everything for me. I’ve seen the best and the worst of him and all I want to do is keep that with me for as long as possible. And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what he is to me, which is everything.
I know what love really is now and I refuse to lose this.
all I know is I’ve never been this happy in my life
Last night I went to $5 Sunday at the movies with my boyfriend. We like to get there early in the afternoon because we sneak into a second movie just because (don’t judge). Well, yesterday we didn’t stay for two movies and ended up leaving earlier. Later that night, we hear on the news and Facebook that a fight broke out and five people got shot in front of the movie theater. I thought to myself, when has anything ever become that serious? Why are we still doing this to ourselves?
Oakland, California is a place where the youth learn to fight before they learn to read. Where they deface homes and businesses for recognition by their peers. Money is spent less on education and paths to a brighter future, and instead on drugs, tattoos, and fashion. We trash our city and kill our neighbors, and are quick to blame others for the regression of our race.
When will we change?
I’m in love. I don’t know how, or how long it will last, but I want this feeling to stay forever.
I’m in love you guys. Like truly and honestly, I’ve found someone I think I can be with forever.
This is unreal.
